Un-shattered
by Beth6787
Summary: A follow on to the episode "Shattered" in season 7. What if Chakotay had come up with a different answer to the Captain's question "Just how close DO we get?"...


Beth 6787

December 2017

Un-shattered...

A follow on to the episode "Shattered" in season 7. AU. What if Chakotay had come up with a different answer to the Captain's question "Just how close DO we get?"...

Commander Chakotay looked at the young Captain standing before him and wrestled with his conscience. Should he adhere to the Temporal Prime Directive and tell her the whole truth? or would a little white lie (that she would probably have no memory of once the ship reintegrated into the present anyway) save them both a lot of heartache down the line? He knew in the back of his mind that he shouldn't but he just couldn't resist the temptation... "Let's just say that our parameters shift over time." He hears himself saying as he extends his hand to shake hers. "See you in the future, Kathryn." She looks at him intently for a minute, trying to read between the lines, then holds out her hand to reciprocate. "Goodbye for now, Commander."

With that she left Engineering for the Bridge to be back in her timeframe before the ship's fragments re-aligned in the year 2378. Chakotay noted that she had addressed him formally just before she left. Hedging her bets as always. Very astute Captain. He mentally crossed his fingers that his self indulgent impulse would not backfire on him back in his present.

Chakotay picked himself up from the Engineering deck. That had been some jolt and he very much hoped that the timeline had been fully restored. He dusted himself down and decided to walk to the Bridge. It may take a good twenty minutes but he would have a better idea if anything major was still amiss by taking a convoluted route through the key areas of the ship. He would stop by for a routine progress report in Astrometrics too while he was at it. If anyone could detect a residual aberration in the timeline it would be Seven.

Just over twenty minutes later Chakotay arrived on the Bridge having been reassured by both Seven's lacklustre status report, all very routine, and having glanced around the door of the Mess Hall to see Neelix's usual chaotic early dinner shift getting underway. All appeared just as it should. He breathed a mental sigh of relief that his little gambit (worryingly he still remembered it - would Kathryn?) didn't appear to have had any repercussions. Nothing obvious anyway. He strolled as casually as he could muster over the his command chair and cleared his throat. "Shall we finish our dinner Captain?". She gave him a quizzical look then got up, handed the Bridge over to Tuvok and followed him back to her quarters.

They were relaxing after dinner with one of Chakotay's , rapidly dwindling, stash of Bajoran Rekantha Province Red wine circa 2367. It was Kathryn's favourite and he had a niggling feeling in the back of his mind that he owed her for that last remark of his before reality reset. As usual she was pushing for more information "It's strange to think there is a part of your life you know nothing about." He parried with "that sounds a lot like the future to me." And gave her his most beguiling grin, as luck would have it, she reciprocated. Then events started to take an unexpected turn.

Having been discussing the recent events that Chakotay had experienced, as vaguely as he could, he was never as confident about flying in the face of the Temporal Prime Directive as his Captain was - Kathryn suddenly changed tack.

"You know, it makes one think Chakotay. We have encountered so many strange anomalies and changes to the timeline since we first arrived out here. The time our Voyager replicated itself just out of phase and we acquired Harry and Naomi from the other ship. Then there was the year of attacks by the Krenim and goodness knows how many realities we experienced. I could go on. The point I am making is that how do we know which is our original timeline? Are we the same Kathryn and Chakotay that were swept into the DQ by the Caretaker's Array or have either or both of us moved between realities? I am beginning to wonder about all the restrictions I have placed on myself. On us. All those 'parameters' do they make sense out here? Was it even this incarnation of me that set them?". She looked expectantly at him.

Chakotay was not sure where this was going but he was becoming increasingly uneasy. Did she remember the essence of that last shot of his standing next to the warp core? Was that even the same Kathryn? Had he altered her subconscious in some profound way, or had they simply had too much Bajoran wine? He decided to believe the latter and diffuse things "I've honestly no idea Kathryn. I'm afraid that the subtleties of temporal mechanics is far beyond my meagre abilities. Especially after half a bottle of Bajor's best 2367 vintage! I suggest we sleep on it and see whether we come up with any inspired theories over dinner next Friday. My turn to host."

Normally this would have resulted in a relaxed smile and a "goodnight" upon which Chakotay would have cleared the last of the dishes into the recycler on his way out. Only this time Kathryn just looked at him intently and said nothing for a while. Then she held out her hand and beckoned for him to sit down beside her. Without appearing rude there was nothing else he could do but play along. She said just one word "stay." Chakotay's nerve left him. He had no idea whether this was how things would have played out eventually but his subtle suggestion to young Kathryn only a couple of hours ago from his perspective and Kathryn's sudden decision to lift her parameters, tonight of all nights, seemed like more than just random coincidence to him. He made some excuse about being behind with work reports for the staff meeting in the morning and needing to sleep off the wine so he looked fit for office by 0700 and made his escape. As soon as he got back to his quarters he replicated a black coffee to clear his head and cursed his impulsiveness earlier that day. Just what had he done to their timeline and their relationship?!...

Kathryn sat. Stunned. After all these years and all the signals she had had from Chakotay, especially recently since they had come to a deeper understanding and friendship post the Equinox debacle, he had turned her down. Stone cold. Had she misunderstood, or had he been playing her all along? Perhaps he was just tired and overworked but, thinking back on the evening, he had not seemed so until that moment she asked him to stay. Whatever his reasons she felt embarrassed and, yes, humiliated. She would not make the same mistake again. Though how she was going to face him on the Bridge at 0700 and carry on as normal she had no idea. This felt very much like the morning after they had returned from New Earth, only ten times worse. That time they had had to hide just how intimate they had become. This time she had to 'play dumb' that anything was amiss and that she had not just received a knife through the heart from the man who had promised her his undying love all those years ago.

0650 and Chakotay arrived on the Bridge to relieve Lieutenant Marston from command of the graveyard shift. Marston was grateful for the early handover and Chakotay was very much relieved that Kathryn had not beaten him to it. He had hoped to make an early start and be 'engrossed' in something by the time she took her seat ! That way he could buy a little time and judge her mood after having slept on the events of last night. Not that he had slept a wink but, with luck, she had dismissed the whole thing as the wine talking and all would be as normal.

No such luck. Kathryn had barely slept at all, and when she had there were snippets of nightmares that she could clearly recall the next morning. One bizarre dream that was crystal clear must have been triggered by their dinner conversation and perhaps a glass too much wine. She and Chakotay were walking around Voyager, through all these bizarre timelines and then they came to Astrometrics. No sign of Seven but instead there stood a young couple in their late twenties or so who introduced themselves as Naomi Wildman and Icheb. Naomi then informed her and Chakotay that they had died simultaneously, in a catastrophic accident seventeen years ago. From the time index Icheb gave her in the dream, that would be about ten days from now! Then she was back in the shuttle, having the recurring nightmare that that alien entity had put her through. Dying again and again in various scenarios. Always ending back in the shuttle with Chakotay. Just the two of them. Was it a premonition or just the ramblings of her sleep exhausted and inebriated mind? Whatever the truth of the matter she looked and felt exhausted. Regardless, she hadn't imagined the rather panicked look on Chakotay's face when she had asked him to stay. He hadn't even waited for her to clarify. For all he knew she was merely suggesting a nightcap to sober them up after the wine before turning in for the night. Separately. That had not been her intention but that was how she decided to play it this morning to save face.

"Good morning Commander. Don't think that I have forgotten your inexcusable rush for the exit when I suggested a nightcap. It WAS your turn to tidy up the dinner detritus." she arched an eyebrow at him. Chakotay felt a flood of relief and inwardly kicked himself. She had only suggested staying for a nightcap and he had thought...thank goodness she was none the wiser. He looked at her sheepishly "You got me, red handed I'm afraid. I really had forgotten to write up the junior Ops crew annual career reviews that I promised you for this morning and I doubted that I would have time to clear up and get them completed before the wine took full effect! May I offer to host dinner tonight by way of an apology? I promise to do all the preparation and the clearing up!"

Well that was unexpected but having decided to 'play dumb' it would be difficult for her to refuse without Chakotay seeing right through her ruse. Perhaps he had not realised the significance of her gesture last night. This evening they would both be sticking to soft drinks. She needed to know how the land lay once and for all.

The rest of the shift passed uneventfully and they handed over to the evening watch at 1800. They had agreed that dinner would be a brief affair for an hour or so at 2100 which gave them both some free time for the early evening. Kathryn was no doubt working again but Chakotay decided to use up some of his nervous energy on the holodeck. A couple of rounds in the boxing ring and hopefully he would also achieve some mental clarity and equilibrium. The holo-simulation of Boothby was there, as ever, and Chakotay decided to sound him out. He swore him to secrecy (a bit ridiculous considering that Chakotay could just delete that particular session from the holodeck logs) but he needed to believe Boothby was real to take his advice seriously. Chakotay recounted his experiences on the time zone shattered Voyager and his parting remark to the young Captain. He then recounted, cringing inwardly, their dinner the night before and how it had ended. So what did Boothby think? Had he changed the timeline and his Kathryn's view of him or was he reading far too much into it and letting his imagination run away along with the wine?

Boothby was quiet for a minute before answering. "Does it matter?"

Well of all the advice he had expected to receive this was not it! Chakotay was annoyed with Boothby's lack of help. "Of course it matters!" Boothby looked at him strangely, a mixture of exasperation and pity. He merely said "why?"

Chakotay could not believe it. Perhaps the holo-matrix for Boothby had been damaged and his perceptual subroutines had degraded. He had one last try "well OBVIOUSLY it matters because the answer to what she meant by 'stay' would depend on which Kathryn she is. Is she the original I met as a Maquis on the Val Jean seven years and two months ago or is she a completely new Kathryn created by my silly remark 48 hours ago in that other timeline?"

Boothby just shook his head. "Come and sit over here on the bench with me Chakotay and have some water." Well that was the first useful thing Boothby had said so far this evening.

Chakotay did as he suggested then Boothby started to talk. "So son. Which Kathryn do you want her to be? Presumably the one you hoped to create by feeding that subliminal suggestion to her younger self? I think it is irrelevant. She is neither the Kathryn you met just over seven years ago or one you tried to create forty eight hours ago. I think she is the Kathryn that has lived these last eighty six months in the DQ with you on this ship. Going through all the ups and downs that you have both encountered, separately and together. She is the Kathryn that you have grown to love. Surely, what matters here is whether she loves you in return? That is really what you want to know by asking what she meant by 'stay' last night. I can think of only one way to know for sure, son. Ask her!" Boothby slapped him on the knee to emphasise his point.

Chakotay was dumbfounded. Of course, Boothby had hit the nail on the proverbial head. However they had both gotten to this point in time, the Kathryn now in her quarters getting ready for dinner was his Kathryn in the here and now. The same Kathryn that had asked him to stay last night. What mattered was what SHE felt for him. Temporal conundrums be damned, as Boothby would put it! Chakotay smiled at his friend "you are right, that bout in the ring has cleared my woolly head nicely. See you tomorrow, I have a dinner date." Boothby just winked at him as the program shut down.

Chakotay hurried back to his quarters, took a shower then put on his casual clothes. A pair of tan chinos and a cream cotton shirt. He rustled up a light vegetarian meal and a steaming cup of coffee for Kathryn and herbal tea for himself. 2100 exactly and Kathryn appeared at the door. She extended her hand and gave him a box of after dinner mints. "Peace offering" she smiled. Chakotay smiled back. "I think we both had a little too much Bajoran jolly juice last night. No harm done. Please have a seat, dinner and coffee is served". With that they sat and the conversation soon flowed. All was as usual and Chakotay felt a weight lift from him.

After dinner they moved to his sofa and he made fresh coffees to accompany the mints Kathryn had brought. He wrestled with his courage. Boothby was right, the only way to know for sure, was to ask her. But that risked backfiring spectacularly if he had read too much into last night's offer. On the other hand, perhaps it was an opportunity that would never present itself again. He had one shot, say nothing and accept the status quo or be brave and see whether a whole new world of possibility was on the horizon...

Chakotay put his cup down just as Kathryn finished her coffee. The evening was about to come to a natural conclusion. It was now or never. She glanced over at him, about to say her good nights , and was met by a penetrating stare that seemed to go straight through her. She held her breathe. Chakotay leaned forward and said just one word "stay". She paused for a second, running through all the possibilities in her mind then settled on just one response. She smiled, took his hand and said "yes."

THE END

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